Noun. escapist - A person who escapes into a world of fantasy
-wishful thinker, dreamer
daydreamer, woolgatherer - someone who indulges in idle or absentminded daydreaming
Noun. escapism - The tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, esp. by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.
Escape… one word with so many capabilities. I am an escapist, I escape for so many reasons and into so many ways. I escape because I’m stressed, tired, afraid or just cannot handle the reality of the world. I escape using alcohol, games of manipulation, other peoples lives and problems, literature, dreams and films. My most frequent method of escape being alcohol and literature. Alcohol because it releases inhibitions and gives an excuse to be foolish and free. Literature because I like the world written on the pages of a novel so much better than my own. I have a favourite for each too. Though I like neither the smell nor taste of vodka it allows for a quick escape due to it’s potency. Whereas my favourite in literature is fantasy novels. Whether it be vampires and magic or demons and angels, i prefer the world within the pages. A world where the demons are not metaphorical and hidden within but physical manifestations. Where the demons can be seen and defeated. The only down side being that literature does not fulfil my masochistic tendencies. Self destruction is easy with alcohol. A slip of the tongue here and a failure of the filter between my brain and my mouth… not that it’s that fine a filter to begin with. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. I have created such chaos. I have become my own destruction. Part of my relishing in my inevitable demise and pain and part of me trying so desperately to grab hold of any accessible life line. What have i done? I have undone myself! But will i find myself tied back up in a neat little bow once more when the sun rises? I do not know! Do you? Undoing. Undoing. Undoing. WE shall all be our own undoing. I am a masochist but who will be my narcissist? Any takers?
i wished for cancer and not just once but a few times over the years. what kind of person wishes for something that destroys the lives of so many, so many who do not deserve the unyielding disease? apparently I’m that kind of person. i concocted three reasons why i made my wish…
1. people have called me beautiful and they assume the same of my soul. cancer steals beauty as quickly as it steals life and would surely expose my ugliness.
2. I figure that if I’m severely sick then I would have a reason to feel the way I do now, there would be emotional justification. And
3. I’m a disgusting human being with no appreciation or concern for the life I have and for the few kind souls within it.
three answers but which ones right? or are they all right and I’m nothing more than a text book case of pathetic?